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青春期的孩子到底該怎么管教? 精選

2018-09-28 小霸總

??青春期的孩子為什么叛逆?叛逆對孩子來說是好是壞?叛逆的孩子該如何教育?這些是困惑許多家長的難題。新學期,以下的方法可以解開家長心中的疑惑,正確認識孩子的叛逆,幫孩子們合理制定新學期的學習計劃。

青春期的孩子到底該怎么管教?


??看著一手帶大的孩子與自己漸行漸遠,從無話不談變得無話可談,身為父母,好不煩惱。雖然難過,也希望爸爸媽媽們能夠端正自己的認識和心態,因為對于孩子來說,這并不是壞事,反而是一個好的開始。教育本身并不難,難就難在家長放不下自己。


??叛逆對孩子未來發展很重要


??一、叛逆是生理成熟、思維能力提高的表現

??青春期的一個重要特點是生理發育成熟、認知能力提高,叛逆的產生需要以上二者為基礎。叛逆說明孩子生理上成熟了,變得更聰明了,才有跟家長反抗的資本。叛逆是孩子生理成熟和思維水平提高的結果,是孩子成長的表現。所以說,叛逆不是一件壞事,而是一種成長和進步。


??二、叛逆是自我同一性發展的需要

??叛逆是孩子自我同一性發展的需要,是他們探索自我、建立自我同一性的一種途徑。所謂自我同一性,是指個體嘗試把與自己有關的各方面綜合起來,形成一個自己決定的、協調一致的、不同于他人的自我,是對“我是誰”、“我將來的發展方向”以及“我如何適應社會”等問題的主觀感受和意識。


??如果孩子一直很乖、不叛逆、不惹事,這種現象在心理學上叫作“同一性早閉”。這樣的孩子未來往往缺乏主見,容易盲從,不喜歡改變,無法應對挑戰。他們會回避變化和壓力來獲取安全感,當遇到挫折時,容易喪失目標和信心。


??三、叛逆是不良情緒的發泄途徑

??腦發育的不均衡使得青春期孩子容易產生情緒問題。此外,青春期孩子面對更大的成長壓力,他們在自我同一性的探索過程中會經歷自我懷疑、混亂、矛盾與沖突,對自己在生活中的角色感到困惑、懷疑,這加劇了青春期的情緒問題。


??叛逆成為青春期孩子發泄不良情緒的一個途徑。青春期的孩子如此敏感、情緒多變,如果他們把這些不良情緒全都掩飾起來,不叛逆、不發泄、不吐露,那么孩子的內心必然會堆積起大量的負能量。所以,叛逆是孩子疏導不良情緒、保持心理健康的一種重要方式。


??四、叛逆是對人際關系調整的一種適應

??叛逆其實是孩子適應人際關系調整、成長為獨立個體的一種方式。進入青春期,孩子開始疏離父母,更多地與同伴相處。這種人際關系的調整對孩子未來的發展非常重要。

??在青春期之前,依戀是親子關系的重要特征。而進入青春期之后,親子關系發生變化,自主取代依戀成為親子關系的突出特征。在青春期順利完成依戀到自主的轉變,對孩子未來良好的社會適應性十分重要,叛逆則在其中起著關鍵作用。


??順利度過叛逆期的三個關鍵


??一、要肯定叛逆是孩子成長的表現

??當家長遇到孩子叛逆、不聽話、不配合、不溝通時,一定不要認為孩子叛逆是對自己威嚴的挑戰,而要承認叛逆是孩子生理成熟、認知能力提高、自我同一性發展的結果,是他們成長的表現,是一件好事情,至少是好的開始。

??家長不要盲目否定孩子的不守規矩,對孩子勇于自我探索的表現要加以肯定。得到父母的認可之后,孩子可能就不會那么叛逆了,起碼程度不會更深。


??二、以叛逆為契機,調整教養角色和教養方式

??叛逆意味著孩子長大了,家長需要及時調整自己的教養角色,應該從起主導作用的教育者轉變成陪伴孩子成長的陪伴者。陪伴,就意味著以孩子為主,父母處于非主導地位;就意味著一種無言的支持和認同,意味著一種平等的朋友關系。


??三、孩子叛逆和家長的教育方式有很大關系

??家庭教育對孩子的影響非常重要。孩子在不同的成長階段,教育的方式也不一樣的。今天我們要改變的不是孩子,而是家長。

??孩子處在叛逆期我們家長應該多去認可孩子,聆聽孩子的心聲,給他們自由,站在孩子角度去考慮問題,和孩子達成有效的溝通,幫助孩子一起度過這個關鍵時期,給予孩子關心,信心!

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